My understanding of Hiraeth is lost. I can't think of anything else that is associated with hiraeth because it's not anything else. When I think of hiraeth the only feeling I get is emptiness, thoughts of a happy place that is nonexistent. My understanding of hiraeth is the lost of a persons safe place, a persons home and future permanently. When I think of home I don't think of a building or house. I think of my family. It doesn't matter where I end up as long as I end up at a destination with my family. I feel pity for these that lost their family. They're true victims of hiraeth. Imagine waking up everyday to a void of emptiness that was once filled with ongoing emotions towards loved ones. That feeling of true lost that only you ( the victim ) can feel because it was your family and you home alone that's eternally perished. It's when you begin to think of ways of survival. It's trying to figure out where life will take you. It's to continue to push yourself to life for the ones you loved so dearly but lost in the end. It's you not knowing where you're going in life but still surviving with no hope for a better life. It's wondering if you'll ever be happy and fill that empty feeling inside because you know that it doesn't matter where life takes you, your home is lost and you'll always find nothingness where you once looked for meaning. Hiraeth is tragedy in every way it's described in my eyes it just happened to be personal.
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My writing process is unattractive and somehow relevant to others. I have problems then again what college student doesn’t. My struggles with writing would be fix with better time management and focus.
When I’m writing a paper, my biggest problem is finding the time to really get into writing. I expect my writing to be high quality but when I go to write it’s like I can’t focus and I have to rush it. I never manage my time correctly so I only have about 3 hours to finish my paper. That 3 hours I have is actually 90 minutes because between writing my paper and texting/falling asleep between paragraphs. Once again, I mentioned time. I continuously attempt to focus on a subject but I somehow get carried away starting with babies now my topic has changed various times ending in on-campus food options. “ We've written about how, if you want to get your work going, you probably want to try a hand at handwriting” Drake Bear. Drake Buddy, Listen I never want to write using my own handwriting. I’m not lazy. Believe it or not but one thing I dislike about myself is my handwriting. My handwriting is terrible. When I do handwrite my papers it’s usually my rough drafts. I feel insecure when I give my “handwritten” rough draft to my instructor because I can feel the “wtf’s” and “I can’t read this b/s” from a mile away. Moving on, I can’t always think straight. I try to think of real life situations to go with my facts after I do research but then I think of funny situation that happened recently and I get silly, once again Time. I know Drake It wasn’t the time to be silly and to be laughing at my silliness, wasting time. As you said “ . Hemingway evidently wasn't into the good-feelin'; rather, he tracked his progress ""so as not to kid" himself”. Okay so I “kid myself” one of my many of my biggest challenges as a student writer. Time management and focus, maybe even my grammar being at the top of the list. “To be fully conscious and alert, with life banging and popping and cuckooing all around, you are not going to find your way to your subconscious, which is a place of complete submission. “Carolyn Chute. Carolyn how did you know? I’m always involved in so many activities and even more people life. It’s difficult to submit to writing when other obligations come up. Being discourage isn’t an option therefore I have to challenge myself to say “I can’t … sorry” or “Maybe next time”. Two uncommon things for me so I always say “Of course I can” and “I wouldn’t miss it, can’t wait till next time”. My life in a few simple words but Carolyn has something in common with me... I write because it’s a part of who I am. I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t write.
I write because when it becomes too much to keep in my mind I unleash my thoughts on paper. I think about so many things, people, topics and outcome of situations. I often think to myself I don’t want to forget these things. It’s like working all day but forgetting to clock-in. I began writing in 9th grade, writing poems as a stress release. It was always hard for me. My siblings before me were amazing students. My mom had 6 kids being one was stressful however writing helped me cope. I had so much to live up to if I wasn’t equally as successful or greater, I lose and I didn’t want to be a loser (especially not to my siblings). I was placed in honors classes ultimately. I would look around like wait a minute these students are older than I am. I was nervous around these students. I would sit in the front alone looking at the teacher like “please help me, they’re talking about freshmen Friday… what is that?” It went on like that for weeks until Friday which I was hanging in the library writing poems, after school I went to a placed called “Open Mikes” (Poetry slams). I figured no students come in the library I’m safe; how wrong I was. All the cool kids hung out there to ditch class and I was the only freshman there…on freshmen Friday. I was sure it was my time but a girl called out “that’s mike’s sister” Mike is my brother and one of the cool kids. Another event to write about I thought to myself (How to become popular… by mistake). From that day forward I was like an instinct popular having senior friends and hanging in the library with the cool kids. While that was my place to “act cool” it was also my safe place to write. Years went on I begin to not only write for release but also just to write. I met a lady name Jane Thompson turns out she’s the director of writing or whatever at Widener. She introduced me to many things over the years which I appreciate. “I am not a scholar. I am not in the least an intellectual, which is not to say that when I hear the word “intellectual” I reach for my gun, but only to say that I do not think in abstracts.” Joan Didion. This particular quote spoke to me because in all honesty I’m not a scholar well not by choice. My end goal is success but to be successful I have to be educated. I’m just a girl that occasionally writes for personal reasons, school reasons and just fun. Joan my dear, you have a way with words. Joan always speaks about “not thinking in abstracts” which I completely agree with. I don’t have to have a logic or reason behind “Why I write” I just do it and from her explanation, I believe she just writes because it’s what she wants to do. |
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